As if I weren't having enough trouble already fighting off the return of my doubts about college, today we watched the above-named PBS flim in my philosophy class. The basic premise is that higher education in the U.S. is failing and facing a serious crisis.The rising cost, (in relation to that) the load of maintaining school and a job, the pressure on the faculty to prioritize research over teaching, the counterproductive economics of large classes, the failure of public education to prepare students for college, the privatization of college (begun by the Regan administration, big surprise there >.>)...

So here I sit, once again pondering my motivation for going to college and trying to stave off the answer that I'm here not necessarily because I want to be, but because it seems I have to.

Before you freak out and worry I'm considering dropping out, allow me to explain.

I enjoy learning, and I'm enjoying college. Even if I didn't feel I have to be, I'd probably have found my way here eventually simply due to the fact that college is where folks like me with two left hands go to learn how to make a living with our brains. The difference being, in such a scenario school attendance would be my choice. As is, if a person wants to maintain a decent middle-class standard of living (the shrinking middle class is a rant for another time), they're pretty well required to fork over the dough and put in the time for a college degree.

In essence, we have to earn the right to enjoy the quality of life afforded by modern technology in what is supposed to be a republic "of, by and for the people." How does anyone not look at that and immediately see something is wrong? (Yes, I know, "people in other parts of the world have it much worse!" Well, I'm not in "other parts of the world," nor do I have any intention to be. I'm here now and that's all that matters. Put a bandage on that heart or go bleed on someone else)

That's the distinction; the point I'm trying to make. I should be pursuing "higher" education because I want to, not because I need to if I want to have any chance of accomplishing the things in my life I desire. I realize full well most of those things I desire would require a college education anyway, but my situation is far from isolated. It's like this for everyone, regardless of what they want to accomplish in life.

That's why I struggle with this even as I'm going through it. Just as with politics and government, the system itself is broken. The only way to get ahead or just break even is by working through the system, but every year it gets more difficult to gain admittance in the first place, let alone manage to stay in through completion.

I don't endorse the whole movie, but V was certainly right about one thing. "There's something seriously wrong with this country." The sooner I can get out of here, the better.